Recap of the 2013 Academy Awards with GIFs!

Did you watch the 85th Annual Academy Awards last night? It was long, but it was worth it. And boy, do we have a lot to talk about! Let’s start with host Seth MacFarlane.

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People keep saying that Seth MacFarlane flopped. Was I watching the wrong show? Because I didn’t see that.

Honestly, I thought he did rather well (Then again, anything is better than the mess that James Franco and Anne Hathaway made two years before). He combined his immature, tongue-in-cheek comedy with his love for old Hollywood films and music, which I thought was the right amount of young and old. If anyone thought he was bad, it was only because they only see one side of MacFarlane. The young viewers were like, “This musical theatre stuff is gay,” and the old viewers were like, “That rapscallion made a joke about Jews!” I’m sorry, but in order to reach a younger audience AND keep traditions going, you need both.

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And then there are the people claiming “sexism” in his jokes. Which, I mean, really? A white male in Hollywood makes jokes about boobs, and suddenly that’s shocking? You guys, comedians (both men and women) have been using sexism for years to get laughs. This isn’t new. In fact, I thought MacFarlane was relatively tame compared to the stuff he gets away with on Family Guy (like songs about AIDS and Down Syndrome). One person on Twitter did make a good point though, saying that the “We Saw Your Boobs” song about all of the actresses was in bad taste simply because this is the same awards show where only ONE woman has won Best Director in 80 some years. Still, I didn’t see this as an attack on women. If anything, I saw it as a hilarious social commentary about the misogyny in Hollywood. Then again, I have a sense of humor.

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Really, we should commend MacFarlane for making the best out of being an Oscars host, which several others before him have shown is not an easy job. I can’t even imagine trying to lighten up a show when the show’s producers and the Academy are holding the reins. Every year, the show’s producers say they want a Comedy Central-like roast and a traditional evening where beautiful, rich “artists” congratulate each other. The problem is you can’t do both of those things. If you get too mean with the jokes, the “artists” are insulted. But if you don’t poke fun at anyone at all, then you’re Billy Crystal. It’s a Catch-22. You’re pretty much set up for disappointment from the get-go.

But enough about politics. Here are some of MacFarlane’s jokes from the show:

  • “Welcome to the Oscars, and the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now.”

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  • Argo tells the previously classified story about an American hostage rescue in post-revolutionary Iran. The story was so top secret that the film’s director is unknown to the Academy”
  • Django Unchained. This is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who’s been subjected to unthinkable violence—or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, ‘a date movie.’”
  • “Tonight’s ceremony is being watched by close to a billion people worldwide, which is why Jodie Foster will be up here in a bit to ask for her privacy.”
  • “Quvenzhané Wallis is the youngest Best Actress nominee ever. Let me just address those of you up for an award: so you got nominated for an Oscar—something a 9-year-old could do.”
  • “Daniel Day-Lewis is not the first actor to be nominated for playing Lincoln. Raymond Massey portrayed him in 1940′s Abe Lincoln in Illinois. I would argue, though, the actor who really got inside Lincoln’s head was John Wilkes Booth. [the audience groans] Really, 150 years and it’s still too soon? I’ve got some Napoleon jokes coming up—you guys are going to be so mad.”

And now, let’s do a quick GIF summary of the night. Because there were a lot of interesting, funny, and somewhat WTF moments. Let’s see…oh, yeah! Harry Potter and Bella Swan presented an award together, causing Twitter to cry out in rage, “WHERE IS SPARKLY CEDRIC EDWARD?!”

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While Seth MacFarlane sang “The Way You Look Tonight,” Charlize Theron and Channing Tatum showed us what it looks like when really beautiful people dance together.

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Adele sang “Skyfall” for the first time live, and it was fantastic. And her dress blended in with the background a little too well, making her look like a floating head with awesome hair.

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William Shatner appeared as Captain Kirk in the opening monologue to say what we were thinking.

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Ted showed up to present some awards with co-star Mark Wahlberg. I imagine the audience not paying attention to the screens in the theater thought Wahlberg was just “Eastwooding.”

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Jennifer Lawrence, once again, tripped while heading to the stage. And we love her even more.

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I’m pretty sure Renee Zellweger was drunk.

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And Sandra Bullock couldn’t get her envelope open, resulting in the best GIF of the night.

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Now, as you may recall from my prediction post, I made my selections for who I thought would win with my first guesses in orange and my second guesses in green. For this post, I’ve ranked my guesses with either 1) Nailed It, 2) Missed It By That Much, or 3) Well, Shit.

I’m really excited because this is the first year I’ve gotten close to guessing all of the big six awards correctly. That being, Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Director. This year, I only missed Best Director. Let’s take a look!

Best Picture = NAILED IT

  • Amour
  • Argo
  • Beasts of the Southern Wild
  • Django Unchained
  • Les Misérables
  • Life of Pi
  • Lincoln
  • Silver Linings Playbook
  • Zero Dark Thirty

Best Actor = NAILED IT

  • Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
  • Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
  • Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
  • Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
  • Denzel Washington, Flight

Best Actress = NAILED IT

  • Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
  • Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
  • Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
  • Quvenzhane Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
  • Naomi Watts, The Impossible

Best Supporting Actor = NAILED IT

  • Alan Arkin, Argo
  • Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
  • Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
  • Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
  • Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best Supporting Actress = NAILED IT

  • Amy Adams, The Master
  • Sally Field, Lincoln
  • Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
  • Helen Hunt, The Sessions
  • Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook

Best Director = WELL, SHIT

  • Michael Haneke, Amour
  • Ang Lee, Life of Pi
  • David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
  • Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
  • Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Original Screenplay = NAILED IT

  • Michael Haneke, Amour
  • Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
  • John Gatins, Flight
  • Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom
  • Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty

Best Adapted Screenplay = MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH

  • Chris Terrio, Argo
  • Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
  • David Magee, Life of Pi
  • Tony Kushner, Lincoln
  • David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook

Best Animated Feature = WELL, SHIT

  • Brave
  • Frankenweenie
  • ParaNorman
  • The Pirates! Band of Misfits
  • Wreck-It Ralph

Best Cinematography = WELL, SHIT

  • Seamus McGarvey, Anna Karenina
  • Robert Richardson, Django Unchained
  • Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi
  • Janusz Kaminski, Lincoln
  • Roger Deakins, Skyfall

Best Costume Design = NAILED IT

  • Jacqueline Durran, Anna Karenina
  • Paco Delgado, Les Misérables
  • Joanna Johnston, Lincoln
  • Eiko Ishioka, Mirror Mirror
  • Colleen Atwood, Snow White and the Huntsman

Best Film Editing = MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH

  • William Goldenberg, Argo
  • Tim Squyres, Life of Pi
  • Michael Kahn, Lincoln
  • Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers, Silver Linings Playbook
  • Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg, Zero Dark Thirty

Best Foreign Language Film = NAILED IT

  • Amour, Austria
  • Kon-Tiki, Norway
  • No, Chile
  • A Royal Affair, Denmark
  • War Witch, Canada

Best Makeup and Hairstyling = WELL, SHIT

  • Howard Berger, Peter Montagna and Martin Samuel, Hitchcock
  • Peter Swords King, Rick Findlater and Tami Lane, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
  • Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell, Les Misérables

Best Original Score = NAILED IT

  • Dario Marianelli, Anna Karenina
  • Alexandre Desplat, Argo
  • Mychael Danna, Life of Pi
  • John Williams, Lincoln
  • Thomas Newman, Skyfall

Best Original Song = NAILED IT

  • “Before My Time” – Chasing Ice, J. Ralph
  • “Everybody Needs A Best Friend” – Ted, Walter Murphy and Seth MacFarlane
  • “Pi’s Lullaby” – Life of Pi, Mychael Danna and Bombay Jayashri
  • “Skyfall” – Skyfall, Adele and Paul Epworth
  • “Suddenly” – Les MisérablesClaude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer, and Alain Boublil

Best Production Design = WELL, SHIT

  • Sarah Greenwood and Katie Spencer, Anna Karenina
  • Dan Hennah, Ra Vincent, and Simon Bright, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
  • Eve Stewart and Anna Lynch-Robinson, Les Misérables
  • David Gropman and Anna Pinnock, Life of Pi
  • Rick Carter and Jim Erickson, Lincoln

Best Sound Editing = DOUBLE NAILED IT (It was a tie)

  • Erik Aadahl and Ethan Van der Ryn, Argo
  • Wylie Statemen, Django Unchained
  • Eugene Gearty and Philip Stockton, Life of Pi
  • Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers, Skyfall
  • Paul N.J. Ottosson, Zero Dark Thirty

Best Sound Mixing = WELL, SHIT

  • John Reitz, Gregg Rudloff, and Jose Antonio Garcia, Argo
  • Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson, and Simon Hayes, Les Misérables
  • Ron Bartlett, D.M. Hemphill, and Drew Kunin, Life of Pi
  • Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom, and Ronald Judkins, Lincoln
  • Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell, and Stuart Wilson, Skyfall

Best Visual Effects = MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH

  • Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton, and R. Christopher White, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
  • Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer, and Donald R. Elliott, Life of Pi
  • Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams, and Dan Sudick, The Avengers
  • Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley, and Martin Hill, Prometheus
  • Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Philip Brennan, Neil Corbould, and Michael Dawson, Snow White and the Huntsman

***

If you’re wondering how well I did in my predictions, the numbers look a little like this:

  • NAILED IT: 11 (12, if we’re counting the tie)
  • MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH: 3
  • WELL, SHIT: 6

How did you do in your predictions? What were some of your favorite moments from this year’s Oscars? Discuss in the comments below! I’d love to hear what you think!

4 thoughts on “Recap of the 2013 Academy Awards with GIFs!

  1. Well done! I agree with the argument with the Academy demanding a comedic style host…when they get one, they say he flopped…there is no pleasing them. It’s pretty ridiculous and sad that people don’t understand comedy and sarcasm. Too bad for them and good for the rest of us, I suppose!

    1. Right? It’s kind of like answering the “Do I look fat?” question. If you say “Yes,” you’re a jerk. If you say “No,” you’re a liar. You can’t win, haha.

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