Ah, alcohol. We have a love-hate relationship that’s heavy on the love. In fact, drinking is one of my favorite pastimes. I’d even put “drinking” under the skills section on my résumé, if that were socially acceptable (Hint: It’s not). But there’s something that I find really funny about drinking…
When you turn 21, it’s like nothing else in your life matters anymore. Seriously, everything is about alcohol. Going to a party? Alcohol. Have a giant exam in the morning? Alcohol. Break up with your significant douchebag? Alcohol. And that’s because you’ve waited 21 years to legally drink alcohol. It’s this weird moment in your life where you suddenly realize you’re an adult, so you start acting like the most obnoxious adult possible.
But here’s the catch: The magic that is alcohol eventually wears off when you’re not 21.
Sure, you still drink on a regular basis, and it’s still fun. But you’re just not the all-day and all-night shot-guzzling slut you once were (and if you are, we need to have a serious talk about priorities because you have adult things to do now, bro).
For some people, it hits immediately. For others, it takes a few years. For me, it was around 22 (so it was fast). Every time I went to a bar, I was annoyed at how loud the music was, how ridiculous the drunk assholes were, and how expensive the shots were. I was just not having that lifestyle anymore. I wanted to chill and drink cheap beer. And that’s because alcohol wasn’t an everyday party favor anymore; it was a weekend escape.
I’m told it only gets less fun as you get older, too. Right now, I can’t speak to that because I’m 24, and I still use alcohol as a way to connect with my friends, who keep leaving me for marriages, houses, and babies. But what I can tell you is that I can’t recover as easily as I used to. Now, every morning, it’s like a dose of instant karma. Instead of leaping out of bed to do it all again, I want to eat a plate of waffles and punch myself in the face.
To explain what I mean, let me show you my “new” cycle of drinking with GIFs (because I’m trendy like that).