Bailey’s Bone List: The Bone and the Bonable

Remember that Bone List I started in July? Well, I’ve already had some shifts in my fancy. And I think you’re going to like them. Also, since the feedback I got after posting the initial Bone List included a lot of “Why did you pick that person?” questions, I’ve decided to include brief explanations of why I’d bone these bones. Enjoy!

20. Sandra Bullock
Recent Roles: Gravity, The Heat
She’s almost 50 and has never looked better. And we’ll probably see her at the Oscars this year.


19. Alexander Skarsgård
Recent Roles: True Blood, The Giver (2014)
He will always be my Fantasy Viking Lover. Oh, and he speaks fluent Swedish.


18. Michelle Dockery
Recent Roles: Downton Abbey, Anna Karenina
She’s unbearably gorgeous and well-spoken in interviews.


17. Peter Dinklage
Recent Roles: Game of Thrones, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
I imagine this is what pure sex looks like in human form. Also, he speaks out against dwarf tossing.


16. Lupita Nyong’o
Recent Roles: 12 Years A Slave
Her face is breathtaking. She’s a Best Supporting Actress candidate for 12 Years A Slave as well.


15. Alan Rickman
Recent Roles: Lee Daniels’ The Butler, CBGB
He’s a “Forever Dong” (as Celebitchy calls it). And can we please talk about Galaxy Quest?


14. Chris Messina
Recent Roles: The Mindy Project, The Newsroom
Seriously…have you seen him on The Mindy Project? He’s funny and damn fine.


13. Michelle Rodriguez
Recent Roles: Machete Kills, Fast & Furious 6
I would kill to have a body like hers. She’s also one of the better action movie actresses out there.


12. Amy Poehler
Recent Roles: Parks & RecreationAnchorman 2: The Legend Continues
She’s one of the funniest comediennes of our time, and she’s not afraid to look stupid or ugly.

2013 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Graydon Carter - Arrivals

11. Dan Stevens
Recent Roles: Downton AbbeyThe Fifth Estate
Damn you, Matthew Crawley, and your sexy grin and panty-removing voice.


10. Idris Elba
Recent Roles: Thor 2: The Dark World, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
I swear he gets more attractive with age. Also, dude knows how to solidify a career.


9. Daniel Radcliffe
Recent Roles: Kill Your DarlingsFrankenstein (2014)
Harry Potter has flawless bone structure and is an example of transitioning well between child and adult actor.


8. Benedict Cumberbatch
Recent Roles: The Fifth EstateSherlockThe Hobbit: The Desolation of SmaugAugust: Osage County
Besides being a brilliant man and unconventional beauty, he’s dominating Hollywood right now.


7. Michael Ealy
Recent Roles: Almost Human, Common LawThink Like a Man
Sorry, I’m lost in his unbelievable eyes. He’s a somewhat low-profile yet stable TV and film actor.


6. Ming-Na Wen
Recent Roles: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Nashville
She’s stunning (and almost 50 as well). Plus, she and Coulson are the best on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.


5. Tom Hiddleston
Recent Roles: Thor 2: The Dark WorldMuppets Most Wanted (2014), The Pirate Fairy (2014)
He’s a classically-trained actor who adores his fans. And, um, Loki…*panties off*


4. Tilda Swinton
Recent Roles: Only Lovers Left Alive, Snowpiercer, The Zero Theorem
All hail the Swinton, the new-age David Bowie.


3. Tina Fey
Recent Roles: 30 RockAnchorman 2: The Legend Continues, Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
She’s modest, sexy as all hell, and (like Amy Poehler) one of the funniest comediennes of our time.


2. Ian McKellen & Patrick Stewart
Recent Roles: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
Please see “Forever Dong.” And by the way, they are the coolest best friends of all time.


1. Jon Stewart
Recent Roles: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Um, this hardcore Silver Fox is a satirical (yet honest) beacon in a shitstorm of political idiocy.


It looks like the Brits are still holding the majority. What do you think, kids? Would you bone the people in my list? Keep checking back for newer versions of my “Bone List” to see who moves up or down or gets removed.

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