2016 Golden Globe Nominations

We talked about 2016 Screen Actors Guild nominations yesterday, and now we have the Golden Globes list.

If you read this blog on a regular basis, you know my thoughts on the Golden Globes. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA) is like that preschool teacher who hands out gold stars to kids who can go the whole day without peeing their pants, and you’re supposed to be like “Wow, they really did something!”

To make it worse, this year, there’s some additional bullshit going on with the awards categories, specifically the Best Picture “Drama” vs. “Musical or Comedy,” which has always caused problems because, for god’s sake, just put everyone in one Best Picture category (but…but…gold stars). Anyway, let’s dive in.

Best Motion Picture – Drama

  • Carol
  • Mad Max: Fury Road 
  • The Revenant 
  • Spotlight 

Why are there only four movies in this category? Could the HFPA not find more dramatic films? I call lies. What about Beasts of No Nation? Or Straight Outta Compton? Both are dramas that made the SAGs list. Hell, Joy and The Martian are dramas, but yeah whatever, Golden Globes. You do you and put them in “Musical or Comedy” because THAT MAKES SENSE. At least Carol and Spotlight fit here. And hell yes, Mad Max: Fury Road is getting acknowledgement!

UPDATE (1/10): The Globes must have felt dumb for only having four originally. They added Room.

Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

  • The Big Short
  • Joy 
  • The Martian 
  • Spy 
  • Trainwreck 

As I said above, Joy and The Martian aren’t comedies. WTF, Golden Globes. This is why no one cares about you. But hey! Trainwreck is on the list, which is awesome because Amy Schumer and Judd Apatow made a damn good comedy. And it’s interesting that Spy made it here, too. I loved that movie and thought it was one of the better comedies this year, but I didn’t think it would end up on these lists.

Best Actor – Motion Picture Drama

  • Bryan Cranston, Trumbo
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant 
  • Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs 
  • Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl 
  • Will Smith, Concussion 

Wow. Smith bumped Depp out of the Best Actor running. That’s an interesting turn of events. Especially because I figured Fassbender was lower on the consideration list than Depp. But such is awards season! Everyone else carried over from SAG nominations.

Best Actor – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy

  • Christian Bale, The Big Short
  • Steve Carell, The Big Short 
  • Matt Damon, The Martian 
  • Al Pacino, Danny Collins
  • Mark Ruffalo, Infinitely Polar Bear 

So Bale was in the SAG Supporting Actor list, but now he’s in the Best Actor list? What is happening? The “Musical or Comedy” Best Actor category must be so barren with choices that the HFPA was like, “Eh, we’ll take whatever we can get!” And continuing my earlier rant, Damon shouldn’t even be here. He’d be in drama, if anywhere (though I doubt he would’ve made the list against the “Drama” five). Also, I want Ruffalo to win. Not because I saw this performance, but because that movie title is HILARIOUS, and hearing someone say it with a serious tone during the telecast will make me giggle.

Best Actress – Motion Picture Drama

  • Cate Blanchett, Carol 
  • Brie Larson, Room 
  • Rooney Mara, Carol 
  • Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn 
  • Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl

Very similar list to the SAGs. The only difference is the Golden Globes didn’t fall for that crap about Mara and Vikander being “supporting” roles (which is impressive for the HFPA). So this is the group we’ll most likely see at the Academy Awards since I doubt the Academy will fall for the lead vs. supporting shenanigans.

Best Actress – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy

  • Jennifer Lawrence, Joy 
  • Melissa McCarthy, Spy 
  • Amy Schumer, Trainwreck 
  • Maggie Smith, The Lady in the Van 
  • Lily Tomlin, Grandma 

Do you think Maggie Smith gets tired of being nominated just for appearing in movies and TV shows? I do. She never shows up to the awards shows. As I keep saying, Joy is not a comedy, so sorry J-Law. I love you, but you shouldn’t be in this category. GO SCHUMER! And also, I’m glad McCarthy was nominated for a movie where she didn’t play someone who’s only purpose is to be fat and gross for laughs.

Best Supporting Actor

  • Paul Dano, Love & Mercy
  • Idris Elba, Beasts of No Nation
  • Michael Shannon, 99 Homes 
  • Sylvester Stallone, Creed 

Yay, Stallone made it for Creed (which was an awesome movie)! But again I have to wonder why there are only four nominees in this category. What’s the deal, Golden Globes? Why not nominate Seth Rogen for Steve Jobs? His performance as Woz was pretty good. Or better idea…nominate Nicholas Hoult for Mad Max: Fury Road.

UPDATE (1/10): Yet another category was updated to have the full five nominees. The Globes added Mark Rylance for Bridge of Spies.

Best Supporting Actress

  • Jane Fonda, Youth
  • Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight 
  • Helen Mirren, Trumbo 
  • Alicia Vikander, Ex Machina 
  • Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs 

Another similar list to the SAGs. Although, this time, Vikander is recognized for a real supporting role (not a lead role masquerading as a supporting role). Notice this is a very experience-heavy list, too. Fonda, Mirren, Jason Leigh, and Winslet have been playing this game a LONG time. Vikander is the newcomer. This could be good.

Best Director

  • Todd Haynes, Carol
  • Alejandro González Iñárritu, The Revenant
  • Tom McCarthy, Spotlight
  • George Miller, Mad Max: Fury Road
  • Ridley Scott, The Martian

After reading how abusive Alejandro González Iñárritu was on the set of The Revenant (Seriously, google all of these stories), I feel like nominating him (or awarding him) would be controversial. You’re not Best Director if you constantly put your cast and crew in danger for “art.” You’re an asshole. But whatever. I’d love to see Miller and Scott duke it out with films that aren’t “traditional” dramas.

Best Screenplay

  • Emma Donaghue, Room
  • Tom McCarthy and Josh Singer, Spotlight
  • Charles Randolph and Adam McKay, The Big Short
  • Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs
  • Quentin Tarantino, The Hateful Eight

Screw Aaron Sorkin and his obnoxious screenplays. I haven’t seen the other movies yet, so I can’t attest to their screenplays. But I will say that I’m a HUGE Tarantino fan, and he writes impeccable scripts. He tends to win Best Screenplay whenever he’s nominated, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if he pulls another win here (which would put him on the path toward more writing Oscars than Woody Allen).

Best Original Score

  • Carter Burwell, Carol
  • Alexandre Desplat, The Danish Girl
  • Ennio Morricone, The Hateful Eight
  • Daniel Pemberton, Steve Jobs
  • Ryuichi Sakamoto and Alva Noto, The Revenant

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Best Original Song

  • “Love Me Like You Do” – 50 Shades of Grey
  • “One Kind of Love” – Love & Mercy
  • “See You Again” – Furious 7
  • “Simple Song #3” – Youth
  • “Writing’s On The Wall” – Spectre

“Writing’s On The Wall” is NOT a good song, guys. Have you heard it? It’s not the worst Bond song ever, but goddamn it’s bad. The fact that it got nominated (and that annoying song from 50 Shades every radio station in the world played for a year) makes me sick. I still like “See You Again” despite its overplay, but I don’t know if it’s award-worthy. And I haven’t heard the other two nominated songs. To be honest, after “Glory” last year, this list seems like a letdown.

Best Animated Feature Film

  • Inside Out
  • Shaun the Sheep
  • The Good Dinosaur
  • The Peanuts Movie
  • Anomalisa

GIVE INSIDE OUT ALL OF THE AWARDS RIGHT NOW.

***

I didn’t include the entire list of nominations because they include TV (which I don’t cover). You can see the rest of the nominees here.

The 73rd Annual Golden Globes will be live Sunday, Jan. 10 on NBC at 8pm E/7pm C.

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