How Is 2017 Awards Season Here Already?!

Once again, limited film releases have screwed me over—hence my “Oh, shit” reaction to the 2017 Golden Globe nominations that came out today. I haven’t seen most of the films on this list because most aren’t wide releases until the end of December or beginning of January. Weirdly, I think I’ve seen more of the nominated TV shows this year. But who cares because it’s the Golden Globes, and they’re the worst. Just wait until the Screen Actors Guild nominations, which come out…WEDNESDAY?! Son of a bitch. Fine, let’s do the things.

FILM NOMINEES

GIF of La La Land (2016)

Unsurprisingly, La La Land leads the pack with seven nominations. Unless you’ve been living under a rock this year (I can’t say I’d blame you), then you’ve definitely heard about this movie. It’s the one everyone keeps saying will make you swoon in the theater (Does anybody still swoon? Like fainting couch swoon? We need some research). It’s followed closely by Moonlight, which has six.

Of course, there’s some WTFery happening, which is normal for the Golden Globes. 20th Century Women is labeled “Musical or Comedy.” It’s a drama with funny moments (God, it’s The Martian all over again). And then Mel Gibson is nominated. Funny. I didn’t realize there was a wife-beating, anti-Semite category. Oh, hey! Meryl Streep is nominated for existing in that movie about that opera singer that nobody saw. Deadpool is even nominated. 2016, y’all.

On a final note, I swear to god if Justin Timberlake’s shitty pop song that every radio station played ad nauseam this summer wins over ANY of the other Original Song nominees, I will light myself on fire. *crosses fingers for Lin-Manuel Miranda and Moana*

Jump to TV Nominees

Best Motion Picture – Drama

  • Hacksaw Ridge
  • Hell or High Water
  • Lion
  • Manchester by the Sea
  • Moonlight

Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

  • 20th Century Women
  • Deadpool
  • Florence Foster Jenkins
  • La La Land
  • Sing Street 

Best Actor – Motion Picture Drama

  • Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea
  • Joel Edgerton, Loving
  • Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
  • Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic
  • Denzel Washington, Fences

Best Actress – Motion Picture Drama

  • Amy Adams, Arrival
  • Jessica Chastain, Miss Sloane
  • Ruth Negga, Loving 
  • Natalie Portman, Jackie
  • Isabelle Hubbert, Elle

Best Actor – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy

  • Colin Farrell, The Lobster
  • Ryan Gosling, La La Land
  • Hugh Grant, Florence Foster Jenkins
  • Jonah Hill, War Dogs
  • Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool

Best Actress – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy

  • Annette Bening, 20th Century Women
  • Lily Collins, Rules Don’t Apply
  • Hailee Steinfeld, The Edge of Seventeen 
  • Emma Stone, La La Land 
  • Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins 

Best Supporting Actor

  • Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
  • Jeff Bridges, Hell of High Water
  • Simon Helberg, Florence Foster Jenkins
  • Dev Patel, Lion
  • Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Nocturnal Animals

Best Supporting Actress

  • Viola Davis, Fences
  • Naomie Harris, Moonlight
  • Nicole Kidman, Lion
  • Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
  • Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Best Director

  • Damien Chazelle, La La Land
  • Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals
  • Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge
  • Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
  • Kenneth Lonegran, Manchester by the Sea

Best Screenplay

  • Damien Chazelle, La La Land
  • Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals
  • Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
  • Kenneth Lonegran, Manchester by the Sea
  • Taylor Sheridan, Hell or High Water

Best Original Score

  • Nicholas Britell, Moonlight
  • Justin Hurwitz, La La Land
  • Johann Johannsson, Arrival
  • Dustin O’Halloran, Hauschka, Lion
  • Hans Zimmer, Pharrell Williams, Benjamin Wallfisch, Hidden Figures

Best Original Song

  • “Can’t Stop the Feeling” – Trolls
  • “City of Stars” – La La Land
  • “Faith” – Sing
  • “Gold” – Gold
  • “How Far I’ll Go” – Moana

Best Animated Feature Film

  • Kubo and the Two Strings
  • Moana
  • My Life as a Zucchini
  • Sing
  • Zootopia

TV NOMINEES

Stranger Things (2016) GIF

That TV is so hot right now. (If you didn’t read that in a Mugatu voice, get out.) Think about all of the amazing shows that came out this year. Netflix gave us ’80s sci-fi throwback Stranger Things and the deep-cut royal family drama The Crown. And HBO dropped Issa Rae’s Insecure, Divorce starring Carrie Bradshaw Sarah Jessica Parker, and motherf***ing Westworld…the show that sparked (heh…robots) a million theories, a million podcasts for those millions of theories, and millions of comments section arguments about how those millions of theories are ruining theories.

Something to keep in mind with these nominations…FX’s The People vs. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story (Christ, could that title be any longer?) gobbled up practically everything at the Emmys, so don’t be surprised if they clean house here. You’ve also got old reliables like Jeffrey Tambor in Amazon’s Transparent and Julia Louis-Dreyfus in HBO’s Veep, who always seem to win. BUT I think there’s a lot of upset promise with the newcomers. FX’s Atlanta, HBO’s Insecure, and NBC’s This Is Us are getting rave reviews. And, seriously, The Crown is goddamn amazing. Poor Game of Thrones had an amazing season and is getting ignored here, though. BURN THEM ALL.

Best TV Series – Drama

  • The Crown
  • Game of Thrones
  • Stranger Things
  • This Is Us
  • Westworld

Best Actor – TV Series Drama

  • Rami Malek, Mr. Robot
  • Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
  • Matthew Rhys, The Americans
  • Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan
  • Billy Bob Thornton, Goliath

Best Actress – TV Series Drama

  • Caitriona Balfe, Outlander
  • Claire Foy, The Crown 
  • Keri Russell, The Americans
  • Winona Ryder, Stranger Things
  • Evan Rachel Wood, Westworld

Best TV Series – Musical or Comedy

  • Atlanta
  • Black-ish
  • Mozart in the Jungle
  • Transparent
  • Veep 

Best Actor – TV Series Musical or Comedy

  • Anthony Anderson, Black-ish
  • Gael Garcia Bernal, Mozart in the Jungle
  • Donald Glover, Atlanta
  • Nick Nolte, Graves
  • Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Best Actress – TV Series Musical or Comedy

  • Rachel Bloom, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
  • Sarah Jessica Parker, Divorce
  • Issa Rae, Insecure
  • Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin

Best TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV

  • American Crime
  • The Dresser
  • The Night Manager
  • The Night Of
  • The People vs. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story

Best Actor – TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV

  • Riz Ahmed, The Night Of
  • Bryan Cranston, All the Way
  • Tom Hiddleston, The Night Manager
  • John Turturro, The Night Of
  • Courtney B. Vance, The People vs. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story

Best Actress – TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV

  • Riley Keough, The Girlfriend Experience
  • Sarah Paulson, The People vs. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story
  • Charlotte Rampling, London Spy
  • Kerry Washington, Confirmation
  • Felicity Huffman, American Crime

Best Supporting Actor – TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV

  • Sterling K. Brown, The People vs. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story
  • Hugh Laurie, The Night Manager
  • John Lithgow, The Crown
  • Christian Slater, Mr. Robot
  • John Travolta, The People vs. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story

Best Supporting Actress – TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV

  • Olivia Colman, The Night Manager
  • Lena Headey, Game of Thrones
  • Chrissy Metz, This Is Us
  • Mandy Moore, This Is Us
  • Thandie Newton, Westworld

***

The 74th Annual Golden Globes will be live Sunday, Jan. 8 on NBC at 8pm E/7pm C.

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