Recap of 2018 Golden Globes with GIFs

Good morning, ladies and remaining gentleman! Last night’s Golden Globes felt a little…weird, didn’t it? Not just because Hollywood is experiencing a creeper reckoning, but also because the show was kept extremely tight. It ended at 10pm, which practically never happens. Sure, it’s refreshing because I went to bed before midnight, but for the first time, it felt like I was just watching people hand out awards. Like the entertainment was sacrificed for efficiency.

Host Seth Meyers did well with what he had. During his monologue, you could tell he was nervous. He wanted to say the right thing and avoid the minefield of wrong things. He poked fun of Trump and the media, and he really went after Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey. I loved that he included a “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” bit with the actresses, too! Beyond that, though, Meyers was barely seen, meaning all of his other bits got cut for time.

Even the presenters didn’t get to do their bits (Considering most of them are cringeworthy, I’m fine with that). That said, I appreciated the serious tone regarding the sexual harassment and assault stuff. Of course, none of the male nominees mentioned it or the Time’s Up movement in their speeches (whereas the women got after it), so that was disappointing. But hey, what did we expect of these guys who literally strive for the bare minimum, right?

Check out Meyers’ opening monologue:

Later in the evening, Oprah Winfrey received the Cecil B. DeMille award, recognizing her achievements in film, TV, and as an entertainer in general. Because it’s our lord and savior Oprah, I cannot do justice explaining how amazing her speech is, so watch it:

Some other fun moments? How about when everyone was like “Man, how are Natalie Portman and Ron Howard going to follow Oprah?” And then Natalie dropped a goddamn FINISH HIM, knowing full well the camera would cut to the most hilarious reaction shots.

Natalie Portman Golden Globes

Seth Meyers followed the advice of the guys from Pod Save America (great podcast, btw) and tried to convince Oprah and Tom Hanks to run for President/Vice President in 2020.

Like Chrissy Teigen’s cringe face a few years ago, this reaction shot of Willem Dafoe is a gift.

Willem Dafoe GIF

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KELLY CLARKSON.

Frances McDormand is one of my favorites to watch at awards shows because she’s having a blast, but she also hates the attention. As she said in her acceptance speech for Best Actress – Drama, she just wants to do tequila shots at the after party with the ladies. I feel that.

Get Out was nominated for Best Picture (“Musical or Comedy” because everything is garbage) and Best Actor. It was completely neglected for Best Screenplay and Best Director, which is bullshit, considering it was one of the best films of the year. Take it away, Daniel Kaluuya…

And Tommy Wiseau was at the Golden Globes…being extremely Tom Wiseau.

All right! Let’s compare my predictions with who actually won!

FILM WINNERS

Jump to TV Winners

Best Motion Picture – Drama = WELL, SHIT

  • Dunkirk
  • The Post
  • The Shape of Water
  • Call Me by Your Name
  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy = NAILED IT

  • The Disaster Artist
  • Get Out
  • The Greatest Showman
  • I, Tonya
  • Lady Bird

Best Actor – Motion Picture Drama = WELL, SHIT

  • Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name
  • Denzel Washington, Roman J. Israel, Esq.
  • Tom Hanks, The Post
  • Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
  • Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour

Best Actress – Motion Picture Drama = NAILED IT

  • Jessica Chastain, Molly’s Game
  • Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water
  • Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • Meryl Streep, The Post
  • Michelle Williams, All the Money in the World

Best Actor – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy = NAILED IT

  • Steve Carell, Battle of the Sexes
  • Ansel Elgort, Baby Driver
  • James Franco, The Disaster Artist
  • Hugh Jackman, The Greatest Showman
  • Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out

Best Actress – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy = NAILED IT

  • Judi Dench, Victoria & Abdul
  • Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
  • Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird
  • Emma Stone, Battle of the Sexes
  • Helen Mirren, The Leisure Seeker

Best Supporting Actor = WELL, SHIT

  • Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project
  • Armie Hammer, Call Me by Your Name
  • Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water
  • Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World

Best Supporting Actress = WELL, SHIT

  • Mary J. Blige, Mudbound
  • Hong Chau, Downsizing
  • Allison Janney, I, Tonya
  • Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
  • Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water

Best Director = NAILED IT

  • Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water
  • Martin McDonagh, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk
  • Ridley Scott, All the Money in the World
  • Steven Spielberg, The Post

Best Screenplay = WELL, SHIT

  • The Shape of Water
  • Lady Bird
  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • The Post
  • Molly’s Game

Best Original Score = WELL, SHIT

  • Carter Burwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • Alexandre Desplat, The Shape of Water
  • Jonny Greenwood, Phantom Thread
  • John Williams, The Post
  • Hans Zimmer, Dunkirk

Best Original Song = NAILED IT

  • “Home,” Ferdinand
  • “Mighty River,” Mudboumd
  • “Remember Me,” Coco
  • “The Star,” The Star
  • “This Is Me,” The Greatest Showman

Best Animated Feature Film = NAILED IT

  • The Boss Baby
  • The Breadwinner
  • Coco
  • Ferdinand
  • Loving Vincent

TV WINNERS

Jump to Film Winners

Best TV Series – Drama = NAILED IT

  • The Handmaid’s Tale
  • This Is Us
  • The Crown
  • Game of Thrones
  • Stranger Things

Best TV Series – Musical or Comedy = WELL, SHIT

  • Black-ish
  • The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
  • Master of None
  • SMILF
  • Will & Grace

Best Actor – TV Series Drama = NAILED IT

  • Freddie Highmore, The Good Doctor
  • Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us
  • Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
  • Jason Bateman, Ozark
  • Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan

Best Actress – TV Series Drama = NAILED IT

  • Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale
  • Claire Foy, The Crown
  • Katherine Langford, 13 Reasons Why
  • Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Deuce
  • Caitriona Balfe, Outlander

Best Actor – TV Series Musical or Comedy = NAILED IT

  • Anthony Anderson, Black-ish
  • Aziz Ansari, Master of None
  • Kevin Bacon, I Love Dick
  • William H. Macy, Shameless
  • Eric McCormack, Will & Grace

Best Actress – TV Series Musical or Comedy = WELL, SHIT

  • Pamela Adlon, Better Things
  • Alison Brie, GLOW
  • Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
  • Issa Rae, Insecure
  • Frankie Shaw, SMILF

Best TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV = NAILED IT

  • Big Little Lies
  • Feud: Bette and Joan
  • Fargo
  • Top of the Lake: China Girl
  • The Sinner

Best Actor – TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV = WELL, SHIT

  • Robert De Niro, The Wizard of Lies
  • Kyle MacLachlan, Twin Peaks
  • Jude Law, The Young Pope
  • Ewan McGregor, Fargo
  • Geoffrey Rush, Genius

Best Actress – TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV = NAILED IT

  • Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies
  • Reese Witherspoon, Big Little Lies
  • Jessica Lange, Feud: Bette and Joan
  • Susan Sarandon, Feud: Bette and Joan
  • Jessica Biel, The Sinner

Best Supporting Actor – TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV = NAILED IT

  • Christian Slater, Mr. Robot
  • David Harbour, Stranger Things
  • Alfred Molina, Feud: Bette and Joan
  • Alexander Skarsgard, Big Little Lies
  • David Thewlis, Fargo

Best Supporting Actress – TV Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TV = WELL, SHIT

  • Laura Dern, Big Little Lies
  • Ann Dowd, The Handmaid’s Tale
  • Chrissy Metz, This Is Us
  • Michelle Pfeiffer, The Wizard of Lies
  • Shailene Woodley, Big Little Lies

***

If you’re wondering how well I did by numbers: NAILED IT (14), WELL, SHIT (10). Kind of meh, but I also feel like the Globes were making terrible decisions. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri was great but really flawed, and it didn’t deserve a lot of those awards (like Best Supporting Actor, Best Screenplay, and Best Picture Drama). What did you think?

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