Well, nobody messed up the envelopes this year. That’s nice.
Jimmy Kimmel returned to host the 90th Annual Academy Awards, and like the previous year, he was a decent host. He made cracks about last year’s Best Picture gaffe and Harvey Weinstein. Much like Seth Meyers at the Golden Globes, he had his little quips, but ultimately he played it safe. Check out the opening monologue…
Kimmel also had Lakeith Stanfield from Get Out help award winners know when their speeches were running too long by screaming “Get Out” at them. (Sadly, they didn’t actually do this during the ceremony, and I kind of wish they had.)
And because it’s Kimmel, he did one of his late-night bits, where celebrities interact with “normal people.” This time, Oscar guests brought snacks to a crowd at a nearby movie theater. Gal Gadot totally narced on some people, Armie Hammer was having a blast shooting hot dogs, and oh my god Guillermo del Toro bringing in a sandwich was adorable.
Now, let’s get into the rest of the show! The E! Network made the horrible decision to have human coconut water Ryan Seacrest show up on the red carpet for interviews despite the allegations of sexual misconduct and workplace harassment coming out about him. And GODDESS Taraji P. Henson was not going to let that slide. HEX HIM, GIRL!
Everyone’s new best friend Tiffany Haddish came out to present with Maya Rudolph, and we need a buddy comedy with them RIGHT NOW. (Also, Tiffany gave an excited shoutout to Meryl, who was sitting right in front of her.)
And if you’re like “Where have I seen that Alexander McQueen dress before?” Tiffany wore it at the Girls Trip premiere AND when she hosted SNL because she’s getting her money’s worth!
The performance of Coco’s “Remember Me” brought a normally boring awards show to freaking life, and it took home the award for Best Original Song!
Your hipster dreams came true as Sufjan Stevens performed “Mystery of Love” from Call Me By Your Name with St. Vincent, Moses Sumney, and Chris Thile. AND THAT BLAZER.
And Broadway’s Keala Settle performed a heartfelt, non-circus version of “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman. Viola Davis was feeling it.
The cast of Star Wars: The Last Jedi came out to present an award. BB-8 and Oscar Isaac were adorable, and Mark Hamill’s ad lib was better than any of the material on the teleprompter.
Jane Fonda and Helen Mirren gave us age goals. Seriously, 80 and 72. HOW.
Jodie Foster and Jennifer Lawrence had a gag about Meryl Streep taking out her competitors Tonya Harding-style. (But for real, was Jodie actually on crutches, or was it a comedy prop?)
One of the biggest moments of the evening was Jordan Peele winning Best Original Screenplay for Get Out. He’s the first black screenwriter to win the award, and he was stunned. Guys. This was his FIRST major film project, and he won an Oscar. Dude’s going to go far.
Emma Stone pulled a Natalie Portman à la Golden Globes while presenting Best Director.
Even though Greta Gerwig (first woman to be nominated for Best Director in eight years) didn’t take home any awards for Lady Bird, she was all in for Guillermo del Toro.
And Frances McDormand sent everyone on a mass Google search for “Inclusion Rider” after winning Best Actress. (Note: An inclusion rider is when an actor says they won’t work on a project unless a determined percentage of cast and crew are women, people of color, LGBTQ+, etc.). That’s awesome, and I hope people follow her advice.
After Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty returned to redeem their screw-up from last year, Guillermo del Toro double-checked the envelope to make sure he did, in fact, win Best Picture for The Shape of Water.
Oh, and Mark Bridges, costume designer for Phantom Thread, had the shortest speech of the night, so he won the coveted “Short Speech Jet Ski” (Helen Mirren not included).
Below is the list of winners (with the exception of Best Animated Short, Best Live-Action Short, Best Documentary Feature, Best Documentary Short, or Best Foreign Language Film since I didn’t predict those). Let’s see how well I did with my predictions…
Best Picture = WELL, SHIT
- Call Me by Your Name
- Darkest Hour
- Dunkirk
- Get Out
- Lady Bird
- Phantom Thread
- The Post
- The Shape of Water
- Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Best Actor = NAILED IT
- Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name
- Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
- Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out
- Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour
- Denzel Washington, Roman J. Israel, Esq.
Best Actress = NAILED IT
- Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water
- Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
- Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
- Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird
- Meryl Streep, The Post
Best Supporting Actor = NAILED IT
- Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project
- Woody Harrelson, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
- Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water
- Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World
- Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Best Supporting Actress = NAILED IT
- Mary J. Blige, Mudbound
- Allison Janney, I, Tonya
- Lesley Manville, Phantom Thread
- Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
- Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water
Best Director = NAILED IT
- Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk
- Jordan Peele, Get Out
- Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird
- Paul Thomas Anderson, Phantom Thread
- Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water
Best Original Screenplay = NAILED IT
- Emily V. Gordon & Kumail Nanjiani, The Big Sick
- Jordan Peele, Get Out
- Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird
- Guillermo del Toro & Vanessa Taylor, The Shape of Water
- Martin McDonagh, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Best Adapted Screenplay = NAILED IT
- James Ivory, Call Me By Your Name
- Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber, The Disaster Artist
- Scott Frank, James Mangold, & Michael Green, Logan
- Aaron Sorkin, Molly’s Game
- Virgil Williams & Dee Rees, Mudbound
Best Cinematography = NAILED IT
- Blade Runner 2049
- Darkest Hour
- Dunkirk
- Mudbound
- The Shape of Water
Best Production Design = WELL, SHIT
- Beauty and the Beast
- Blade Runner 2049
- Darkest Hour
- Dunkirk
- The Shape of Water
Best Visual Effects = WELL, SHIT
- Blade Runner 2049
- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
- Kong: Skull Island
- Star Wars: The Last Jedi
- War for the Planet of the Apes
Best Film Editing = WELL, SHIT
- Baby Driver
- Dunkirk
- I, Tonya
- The Shape of Water
- Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Best Sound Editing = NAILED IT
- Baby Driver
- Blade Runner 2049
- Dunkirk
- The Shape of Water
- Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Best Sound Mixing = WELL, SHIT
- Baby Driver
- Blade Runner 2049
- Dunkirk
- The Shape of Water
- Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Best Original Score = NAILED IT
- Dunkirk
- Phantom Thread
- The Shape of Water
- Star Wars: The Last Jedi
- Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Best Original Song = WELL, SHIT
- “Mighty River” from Mudbound, Mary J. Blige
- “Mystery of Love” from Call Me by Your Name, Sufjan Stevens
- “Remember Me” from Coco, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez
- “Stand Up for Something” from Marshall, Diane Warren, Common
- “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman, Benj Pasek, Justin Paul
Best Costume Design = WELL, SHIT
- Beauty and the Beast
- Darkest Hour
- Phantom Thread
- The Shape of Water
- Victoria & Abdul
Best Makeup & Hairstyling = NAILED IT
- Darkest Hour
- Victoria & Abdul
- Wonder
Best Animated Feature = NAILED IT
- The Boss Baby
- The Breadwinner
- Coco
- Ferninand
- Loving Vincent
***
If you’re wondering how well I did by numbers: NAILED IT (12), WELL, SHIT (7). How did you guys do with your predictions?
