Tomorrowland Is Smug, Self-Congratulatory Crap from Disney

When optimist and science lover Casey (Britt Robertson) sees a futuristic world after touching a pin she discovers among her stuff, she teams up with inventor Frank Walker (George Clooney) to find Tomorrowland and save the world from imminent destruction. Continue reading “Tomorrowland Is Smug, Self-Congratulatory Crap from Disney”

Kenneth Branagh's Cinderella

Cinderella: A Beautiful, Dead-Horse-Beating Film

Ella (Lily James) is forced into servitude by her stepmother (Cate Blanchett) and her stepsisters, Drisella (Sophie McShera) and Anastasia (Holliday Grainger), after the death of her father. Just when everything seems hopeless, however, she meets Kit (Richard Madden), her kingdom’s prince, who must choose a bride at the ball. Continue reading “Cinderella: A Beautiful, Dead-Horse-Beating Film”

Spongebob: Sponge Out of Water

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water Is Batshit Crazy Fun

After Burger Beard the Pirate (Antonio Banderas) steals a magical book in which he can rewrite the story of Bikini Bottom and steal the Krabby Patty formula for himself, Spongebob Squarepants (Tom Kenny) teams up with archenemy Plankton (Mr. Lawrence) and friends Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke), Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown), Sandy (Carolyn Lawrence), and Squidward (Rodger Bumpass) to recover the formula and save Bikini Bottom from the apocalypse. Continue reading “The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water Is Batshit Crazy Fun”

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

How to Train Your Dragon 2: Dragon Is Man’s Best Friend

The Viking village of Berk is united with dragons, thanks to the friendship between Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) and his dragon, Toothless. With everything going so well, Hiccup’s father and chief of Berk, Stoick (Gerard Butler), has decided to step down and let his son rule. Hiccup, however, isn’t ready to be chief. Continue reading “How to Train Your Dragon 2: Dragon Is Man’s Best Friend”

Maleficent 2014

Maleficent Feels Like Two Different Movies

After years of protecting The Moors and its magical creatures from destruction brought by humans, Maleficent (Angelina Jolie) is betrayed by Stefan (Sharlto Copley), the man she loves, who steals her wings to become the king in the human kingdom. Swearing revenge on him, Maleficent curses his daughter, Aurora (Elle Fanning), saying she’ll prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel on her 16th birthday, which will put her in an endless sleep that can only be broken by “true love’s kiss.” As Maleficent watches Aurora grow up into a beautiful and caring young woman, however, she starts to regret placing the curse upon her out of anger and tries desperately to keep Aurora from her deadly fate. Continue reading “Maleficent Feels Like Two Different Movies”

Muppets Most Wanted Movie

Muppets: Most Wanted is a Satirical Caper with a Great Soundtrack

Fresh off of their Hollywood comeback, the Muppets take their show on a “world tour” with the help of talent manager Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais). Little do they know that Badguy is working with the world’s number one criminal and Kermit doppelganger, Constantine, to steal England’s crown jewels and frame the Muppets.
Continue reading “Muppets: Most Wanted is a Satirical Caper with a Great Soundtrack”

The LEGO Movie 2014

The LEGO Movie: Everything is Awesome

It’s fitting that “Everything is Awesome” is the name of the Tegan & Sara (feat. The Lonely Island) song that plays throughout this movie. Because “everything is awesome” is the exact phrase that I would use to describe The LEGO Movie. Let’s talk plot, shall we? Continue reading “The LEGO Movie: Everything is Awesome”