Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016)

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children Is Another Mediocre Film from Tim Burton

I think it’s time for Tim Burton to retire. Or at least take a nice long holiday and then come back refreshed. Because, like his infamous leading man Johnny Depp, he’s gotten himself in a rut. He’s always been the “weird” director, which once meant he could take odd, creepy stories and find the beauty in them. (Remember Corpse Bride?) Now, it’s as if the weirdness has become a gimmick that consumes the film, leaving no room for storytelling or art. Continue reading “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children Is Another Mediocre Film from Tim Burton”

Mia Wasikowska in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)

Alice Through the Looking Glass Is a Waste of Time

Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, which came out back in 2010, was a bit of a gamble. It was the studio’s first live-action retelling of one of their classic animated films. It was mostly CGI, which is ungodly expensive. And it starred a relatively unknown actress at the time (Mia Wasikowska) in its titular role alongside a well-known character actor who was starting to face backlash for his oversaturation (Johnny Depp). But it was a HUGE success, crossing the $1 billion mark, which helped greenlight the live-action retellings we’re seeing now: Maleficent, CinderellaThe Jungle BookBeauty and the Beast. Continue reading “Alice Through the Looking Glass Is a Waste of Time”

Emily Blunt and Charlize Theron in The Huntsman: Winter's War 2016

The Huntsman: Winter’s War Lacks Purpose

“Why did we need a sequel?” seemed to be the question with The Huntsman: Winter’s War, especially after the confusing trailers made this movie look like both a prequel and a sequel, but without Snow White. Well, 2012’s Snow White and The Huntsman (SWATH) did “okay” at the box office and with critics, so Universal thought that warranted a sequel (Yay, mediocrity). So here we are. Continue reading “The Huntsman: Winter’s War Lacks Purpose”

Daisy Ridley and John Boyega - Star Wars Episode VII

It’s About Damn Time We Had a Movie Like Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Do you remember the feeling you had when you first saw Star Wars? No, not the prequels. I mean the original trilogy starring Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford. Well, you’re going to get that feeling again when you watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens (a.k.a. Episode VII) because it captures everything that was good about the original trilogy. That’s right—J.J. Abrams did what some of us (including me) thought to be impossible. Continue reading “It’s About Damn Time We Had a Movie Like Star Wars: The Force Awakens”

Levi Miller Pan 2015

Pan Is a Garbage Remake That Doesn’t Deserve Your Time or Money

Peter (Levi Miller) is snatched from his London orphanage and shanghaied into Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman)’s Neverland work camp for orphaned boys. There, he meets James Hook (Garrett Hedlund), who helps him escape into the jungle after Peter reveals to Blackbeard that he has the ability to fly. Continue reading “Pan Is a Garbage Remake That Doesn’t Deserve Your Time or Money”

Kenneth Branagh's Cinderella

Cinderella: A Beautiful, Dead-Horse-Beating Film

Ella (Lily James) is forced into servitude by her stepmother (Cate Blanchett) and her stepsisters, Drisella (Sophie McShera) and Anastasia (Holliday Grainger), after the death of her father. Just when everything seems hopeless, however, she meets Kit (Richard Madden), her kingdom’s prince, who must choose a bride at the ball. Continue reading “Cinderella: A Beautiful, Dead-Horse-Beating Film”

The Hobbit 3 (2014)

The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies Is A Mess

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), Thorin (Richard Armitage), and the dwarfs recover the dwarf city of Erebor while the dragon Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch) lays waste to Lake Town. After Bard (Luke Evans) defeats Smaug, everyone in Middle-earth turns their eyes toward Erebor and Thorin’s inherited treasure. Thorin must then face his greatest enemies—Thranduil (Lee Pace), Azog the Defiler and his orcs, and the greed for treasure that overcomes him. Continue reading “The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies Is A Mess”