Optimus Prime in Transformers: The Last Knight

Transformers: The Last Knight a.k.a WHAT THE F*** DID I JUST WATCH

After I saw Transformers: Age of Extinction, I didn’t think it was possible for Michael Bay to make a worse movie. Because it was bad. Painfully bad. So much so that I thought he’d straight-up drop this franchise into the ocean like Megatron and pretend it never existed. I was wrong. Continue reading “Transformers: The Last Knight a.k.a WHAT THE F*** DID I JUST WATCH”

Ted 2 Is Proof That Seth MacFarlane Needs a Reset

While attempting to have a child with his wife Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), talking teddy bear Ted (Seth MacFarlane) is told he’s not a person and, therefore, cannot legally be married to Tami-Lynn or have a child. With the help of best friend John (Mark Wahlberg), and lawyer Samantha Jackson (Amanda Seyfried), Ted takes his case to court to prove he’s more than just property. Continue reading “Ted 2 Is Proof That Seth MacFarlane Needs a Reset”

Transformers: Age of Extinction

Transformers: Age of Extinction Needs to Die

After the fight between the Autobots and Decepticons leveled Chicago, the U.S. government no longer wants transformers in their country, let alone on the planet. Led by Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammar) of the CIA, a strike team called “Cemetery Wind” hunts down and kills the remaining Autobots with the help of bounty hunter, Lockdown (voiced by Mark Ryan). But Optimus Prime manages to escape and hide out in Paris, Texas, where he meets Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), a failed robotics inventor, and his daughter, Tessa (Nicola Peltz). Continue reading “Transformers: Age of Extinction Needs to Die”

Seth MacFarlane voices Ted

Ted, Also Known As Family Guy the Movie

Although much less family-friendly, Ted reminded me a lot of Elf. It started and ended with the narration of an adorable tale (voiced by Patrick Stewart, who ended up getting off on some very hilarious tangents about Apache Helicopters and Justin Bieber); it had quirky, smooth jazz as its musical backdrop, thanks to composer Walter Murphy (whose style you might recognize from Family Guy); and there are so many one-liners that you can barely keep up (Yes, I will quote them for the next three months). Continue reading “Ted, Also Known As Family Guy the Movie”