War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Slackers Gotta Slack: Let’s Play Movie Catchup!

So I’ve been bad about writing reviews this month. Because summer and shit. You know how it goes. Eating too much barbecue, doing things outside, occasionally getting super depressed thinking about how the inevitable heat death of the universe is coming for us all. The usual stuff. And hey! I managed to tackle Spider-Man: Homecoming, so that’s an accomplishment. But I still have drafts sitting open for Baby DriverWar for the Planet of the Apes, and Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets that, let’s be honest, I’m not going to finish. So I figured, screw it, let’s just drop a quick review for each into a single post. That way, we can get caught up! Continue reading “Slackers Gotta Slack: Let’s Play Movie Catchup!”

Daisy Ridley and John Boyega - Star Wars Episode VII

It’s About Damn Time We Had a Movie Like Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Do you remember the feeling you had when you first saw Star Wars? No, not the prequels. I mean the original trilogy starring Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford. Well, you’re going to get that feeling again when you watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens (a.k.a. Episode VII) because it captures everything that was good about the original trilogy. That’s right—J.J. Abrams did what some of us (including me) thought to be impossible. Continue reading “It’s About Damn Time We Had a Movie Like Star Wars: The Force Awakens”

Pitch Perfect Sequel 2015

Pitch Perfect 2 Has Some Issues, But It’s Still a Blast

After a major mishap during a performance for the president, the Barden Bellas are booted from the national competition, though they’re three-time (and returning) a cappella champions. The Bellas plan to fix their reputation by entering the international a cappella competiton, which no American group has ever won, and beating the German group, Das Sound Machine. Continue reading “Pitch Perfect 2 Has Some Issues, But It’s Still a Blast”

The World’s End: The Entire Plot is Ingeniously in the Pub Names

“This movie looks a lot like that This Is The End movie you reviewed, Bailey.” Yeah, it does a bit. But not by much. About the only thing that these two movies have in common is that they both share a plot surrounding a band of friends uniting to get through an apocalyptic scenario. The difference? Everything else. So quit your bitching. Continue reading “The World’s End: The Entire Plot is Ingeniously in the Pub Names”

Nicholas Hoult as R

Warm Bodies: An ’80s Rom-Com with Zombies

I feel so behind on movies right now. But who cares, right? Because it’s only those awful spring movies. Fortunately, the movie I’m about to review isn’t awful like the other movies I’ll see in the coming weeks. So let’s not waste time because I want to talk about Warm Bodies, like, now. Continue reading “Warm Bodies: An ’80s Rom-Com with Zombies”

Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, and Christopher Walken in Seven Psychopaths

Seven Psychopaths: The Next Pulp Fiction?

I feel like Seven Psychopaths was one of those movies that came out of nowhere. One minute, it didn’t exist, and then there were suddenly TV spots and previews for it everywhere (kind of like the first Paranormal Activity). I kept telling people I wanted to see this movie, and they just looked at me like I was crazy—like I was actually heading to a corrections facility to check out an odd numbers of psychopaths. Continue reading “Seven Psychopaths: The Next Pulp Fiction?”