Javier Bardem in Pirates of the Caribbean 5

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales: Can This Franchise Die Now?

Back when Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl came out, it was kind of crazy how much fun a movie based on a cheesy theme park ride at Disney World was. And while we can debate the merits of Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End, they created a decent action-adventure trilogy. Then came On Stranger Tides, a bloated garbage fire of a movie sans two of Pirates‘ three main stars and all of the magic of the first three films. If it weren’t for foreign box offices, Disney wouldn’t have broken even on that crap. Which made the idea of Dead Men Tell No Tales, the fifth installment, seem like a not-so-great idea. But, of course, money. Having seen Dead Men Tell No Tales, I can say confidently that Pirates needs to go away for good. Continue reading “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales: Can This Franchise Die Now?”

The Hobbit 3 (2014)

The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies Is A Mess

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), Thorin (Richard Armitage), and the dwarfs recover the dwarf city of Erebor while the dragon Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch) lays waste to Lake Town. After Bard (Luke Evans) defeats Smaug, everyone in Middle-earth turns their eyes toward Erebor and Thorin’s inherited treasure. Thorin must then face his greatest enemies—Thranduil (Lee Pace), Azog the Defiler and his orcs, and the greed for treasure that overcomes him. Continue reading “The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies Is A Mess”

The Hobbit #2

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is Long and Lacking a Lot of Gandalf

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen), Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage), and a band of dwarfs are on the run from a horde of orcs. When they finally reach the forests of Mirkwood, Gandalf separates from the group, needing to investigate the Necromancer of Dol Guldur. Meanwhile, Bilbo and the dwarfs get into some trouble with a nest of spiders before stumbling into the hands of Thranduil (Lee Pace), elf leader of Mirkwood. They then escape to Lake Town right outside of the Lonely Mountain, where they finally come face-to-face with the treasure-obsessed dragon, Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch). Continue reading “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is Long and Lacking a Lot of Gandalf”