War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Slackers Gotta Slack: Let’s Play Movie Catchup!

So I’ve been bad about writing reviews this month. Because summer and shit. You know how it goes. Eating too much barbecue, doing things outside, occasionally getting super depressed thinking about how the inevitable heat death of the universe is coming for us all. The usual stuff. And hey! I managed to tackle Spider-Man: Homecoming, so that’s an accomplishment. But I still have drafts sitting open for Baby DriverWar for the Planet of the Apes, and Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets that, let’s be honest, I’m not going to finish. So I figured, screw it, let’s just drop a quick review for each into a single post. That way, we can get caught up! Continue reading “Slackers Gotta Slack: Let’s Play Movie Catchup!”

Spider-Man: Homecoming 2017

Spider-Man: Homecoming Is Quirky Teen Comedy Meets Superhero Movie

You have to appreciate a movie with a double entendre in its title. If you’ve seen Spider-Man: Homecoming, you know that the title partly references the film’s climax, in which Peter Parker attends his high school’s homecoming dance. But there’s also some cheekiness behind the name when you know that this Spider-Man movie was the first collaborative effort between Sony (which holds the rights to Marvel’s Spider-Man properties) and Marvel Studios. Because after Sony made a hot mess of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (and got into a shit ton of debt), they made a deal with Kevin Feige (the man behind Marvel Studios’ MCU) and brought Spidey into the fold for a few films. So, in a sense, Homecoming is Spider-Man coming home…to Marvel. Continue reading “Spider-Man: Homecoming Is Quirky Teen Comedy Meets Superhero Movie”

Optimus Prime in Transformers: The Last Knight

Transformers: The Last Knight a.k.a WHAT THE F*** DID I JUST WATCH

After I saw Transformers: Age of Extinction, I didn’t think it was possible for Michael Bay to make a worse movie. Because it was bad. Painfully bad. So much so that I thought he’d straight-up drop this franchise into the ocean like Megatron and pretend it never existed. I was wrong. Continue reading “Transformers: The Last Knight a.k.a WHAT THE F*** DID I JUST WATCH”

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Alien: Covenant Feels More Like a Frankenstein Movie Than an Alien Movie

I’ll cut to the chase. Alien: Covenant is better than Prometheus, but it’s not (nor will any movie in this franchise ever be) better than Alien or Aliens. Cool? Cool. Let’s dive into the movie now. Continue reading “Alien: Covenant Feels More Like a Frankenstein Movie Than an Alien Movie”

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Come for the Music, Stay for the Laughs

This should be obvious by now, but I have to say it anyway. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is a vibrant explosion of fun, and I don’t know what you’re doing with your life if you haven’t seen it. Now that that’s out of the way, we pick up where we left off from Guardians of the GalaxyContinue reading “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Come for the Music, Stay for the Laughs”

Asa Butterfield in The Space Between Us (2017)

The Space Between Us Is Dumb and Cheesy, and I’m Weirdly Into It

I totally assumed The Space Between Us was based on a YA novel when I saw the trailer. Turns out, it’s not. It’s an original screenplay and story written by Allen Loeb (Just Go with It, Collateral Beauty). And while the script might be a hot mess riddled with plot holes, convenient “get from Point A to Point B” solutions, and dated slang that feels more 2005 than 2034, I can’t bring myself to give it the hate that other reviewers have been (The movie’s at 15% on Rotten Tomatoes as of writing this). I guess what I’m saying is I’m grading on a curve since this isn’t another remake or sequel. Continue reading “The Space Between Us Is Dumb and Cheesy, and I’m Weirdly Into It”