I’m not a gambler. When I spend a weekend in Vegas, I’m more concerned about gluttony than greed. I love spending money on nice dinners and drinks, but you won’t catch me playing with a machine that’s designed specifically to separate me from my hard-earned dollars. That’s bad ROI.
I feel the same way about the lottery. A lotto ticket is as much a waste of my time as those “great deals” emails from retailers where they only offer a 10% discount (A slap in the face, in my opinion). Because I know that, even if I win some money here and there while playing, I’m still losing money in the long run. I might have a degree in English, but this isn’t difficult math.
I bring this up because, the other day, somebody asked “If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?” The Powerball had gotten up to $2 billion or something, and everyone around me was debating getting a lotto ticket—you know, just in case math didn’t apply that day.
I was not about to buy a ticket, but sure, I can play in the imagination sandbox. Who doesn’t like hypotheticals, right? So a world where I suddenly come into a bunch of money…
Yeah, I’d disappear. You would never hear from me again. Like Enya.
I wouldn’t fake my own death or anything wild like that. I’d take care of my affairs, then…poof. Now you see me, now you don’t. I’d want that ancient vampire energy—just wandering the earth, visiting places I’ve never been, experiencing the cultures, not staying in one spot too long. The thought of people never quite knowing where I am or what I’m doing sounds peaceful, and I’d like to think it would be fun for them having such a mystery. I heard she was in Kyoto a month ago, they’d say.
Frankly, I don’t understand why more rich people don’t do that. Like…you got your bag, so go live your life. Why do you feel the need to run your mouth and seek attention from the populace? You could be sitting on a remote beach and not having a care in the world. Or reading a book and idly observing chatter in a cafe where no one recognizes you. How is that not the ultimate goal?
“Wow, so you’re saying you wouldn’t give any money to friends and family…or charity?”
Of course, I would. No one should hoard that much wealth. But you have to be careful because one of the things that happens to lotto winners is they start getting sued for dumb things or having to pay off long-lost cousins who start coming out of the woodwork. That doesn’t sound fun to me. So I’d do my disappearing act, then send mysterious envelopes full of money to the people and organizations I care about. With no return address, that is, because I don’t want them to find me.
Now, that’s a nice life right there.
I’m still not buying a lottery ticket, though.